Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Clandestine gloom

 
 
 
SHAMBLES

A summer storm has subsided
and all is quiet,
but there are continued hints of clandestine gloom.
Everything is now in ruins
and an ever growing mystery
is leading to a new event,
drawing us closer to catastrophe.





(Photo by Dan Felstead of Wood and Pixels Narratives)

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Drowning Shadows






 Drowning Shadows

Sorrow creeps in,
a step at a time,
and eases its way into life;
robbing the soul,
tainting the aura,
changing the essence of happier days.
Worry, anticipation, anxiety and stress
replace the happy go lucky,
marring the image of pleasant memories,
drowning shadows of times gone by.
Why does it happen when you least expect it?
And when will it go away?
For sorrow is no friend,
when it drags you down
and invades your subconscious
without a sound.


.

Sunday, September 13, 2015

TRUST




Coming from a past where my trust was betrayed more times than I care to count, I can say trust is not an easy thing for me.  "Once bitten, twice shy" as the old saying goes.

As a young child, I trusted my parents and my grandparents with all my heart.  This trust still holds today - no matter what I was doing, or not doing, I always trusted these people.

When I was a young teenager, I fell head over heels for my first real boyfriend.  To my eyes he was perfection and I gave him my trust without the blink of an eye.  As I grew to know his family, I was overwhelmed and thought they were the most wonderful people in the world.  It was not hard to give them my trust.

It wasn't until a few days after the birth of my first daughter that I realized the husband I idolized had betrayed me.  He had been carrying on an affair with an older woman at work the entire time I was pregnant.  He broke my heart and my trust and I still carry the scars to this day.

Coming from a Christian background, I had to look deep inside myself to figure out what to do.  After weeks of praying, I forgave my husband for his misdeeds - after all, we had a small child, what else could we do?  I felt obligated to give him a second chance.  Life was not perfect after this crisis, but we were both trying.  However, I was finding it hard to trust him, and I don't think I ever truly trusted him again.  But I was trying.

We went on to have another child and I finally thought my life was back on track.  I still loved my husband and slowly the trust was growing back.  We had moved from a mobile home into a home we had built on the family farm.

I should have known fate wasn't done with me.  Just a few months after our youngest daughter turned two, my husband of six years announced he was leaving.  Apparently when I thought we were both on the right track, I find it was only me on the right track.  He had started another affair with a different woman - deciding he would rather be with her than his family.

I thought his family would be on my side, after all I was the faithful wife, but I was also the victim.  When I found out his mother knew about the affair almost from the beginning, I was crushed.  Instead of her telling her son he needed to support his children and wife, she was behind him all the way.

Fast forward four years from my divorce, and I was getting remarried to a wonderful man.  My current husband is the total opposite of my ex, but he had to go through several years of me not totally trusting him.  I lived in fear that I would be betrayed again.

Fast forward 25 more years and I remain happily married to my second husband.  My trust, faith and love have grown to encompass our entire life.  I trust my husband to love me and not betray me.  I finally have a stable live full of love and happiness.

So, yes, it is hard to earn my trust, but when I finally do trust someone, I trust them with my entire heart, soul and being.

Thursday, September 10, 2015

LONGING FOR AUTUMN



If you stop long enough and enjoy all the natural wonders of our environment, you will notice fall is in the air again. The long days of August have waned and the unpredictable days of September are waxing and although we have not had a very hot summer this year, I am still anxious for autumn to arrive.

Out of all the months of the year, August is my least favorite, even if my birthday is during this time.  By the end of the Mercer County Fair and Horse Show each year, I am wishing for October to arrive.  Cool mornings and beautiful days, these get me going even better than the first few days of spring.

Everywhere you look there are impending signs of autumn, but none are more prominent than the changes in tobacco fields.  Lush green leaves of tobacco have now turned a pleasing yellow, signaling the time to reap the harvest.  Personally, I’m glad I don’t have to work in the tobacco fields anymore, but I still love looking at a wonderful plot of the fully-grown plants.

As the weather has cooled, our air conditioner has been turned off and the windows thrown open. I love to have the crisp fall air blowing the curtains and filling my home with freshness. Having the windows open also allows me to hear the cacophony of insects alive in my backyard. For the past twenty years, we have been establishing a wildlife habitat in our backyard and there is nothing better than listening to the night sounds. Frogs, owls, crickets, and cicadas, they are music to my ears and my heart.

Another sight that I associate with autumn is an increase in spider webs throughout the landscape.  With the cooler days approaching, we are experiencing more fog during the morning hours and the moisture from the fog is the perfect silhouette for spider webs.  The moist dew from the fog helps the webs to sparkle like diamonds.  I love taking pictures of spider webs when they are wet with dew because they look like bits of lace sprinkled around the yard.  Also, I like those big yellow spiders that make their appearance in fall.  They always remind me of Charlotte from “Charlotte’s Web,” not to mention the fact that they eat hundreds of garden pets during the course of the day.  As long as I can see the spiders, I’ll let them remain to feast on the undesirables who try to eat my plants.

Falling leaves are a sure sign that autumn has arrived.  Although the leaves haven’t started falling in mass yet, I know that the big “fall” is not far away.  Leaves start falling rather slowly, first the old dried leaves that did not make it through the summer litter the edges of roads and lay limply under the trees.  Then you have the spectacular colors long associated with autumn – red, yellow, orange.  Finally, by the middle of November, the color display will cease and then the leaves will fall in mass.  Most people see falling leaves as a major chore to be cleaned up; I see falling leaves as food for my yard and garden.  Not to mention the leaves make wonderful compost.

Another sure sign of fall for me is the pinecones forming on my pine trees.  I know this does not sound like a big deal to most people, but I have never had my own pinecones until a few years ago.  We have two pine trees, which my husband planted about twenty years ago.  These were end of the season discounts we thought would add privacy to our yard.  These two trees have been a wonderful success and I have been rewarded with my own pinecones.

This year, both of the pines are hanging full of forming pinecones.  I have enjoyed watching these natural decorations mature from tiny green nubs to pale green baby cones to full grown pinecones with all the sweet smells of the pins.  I’m sure the newness of the pinecones will wear off in a few years when my yard is covered with them, but for now, I’m just going to enjoy nature’s wonders.

Fall is in the air again and I love every minute.  Goldenrod and Ironweed are starting to bloom, ornamental grasses are waving their large plumes, and vegetable gardens are preparing for a long winter’s nap.  It won’t be long until the frost is on the pumpkins.  And speaking of pumpkins, it’s almost that time of the year again, too!  Tobacco, spiders, and pumpkins … Oh my!


Wednesday, September 9, 2015

Windsday


WINDSDAY

Oak leaves dance and twirl
like a brown whirlwind littering the air
as the unusual windsday blows through.
Robins going from treetop to tree
teeter off course in the gusty gale.
Bags, napkins and other garbage
take flight to pollute other areas.
Flags snap to attention,
stiff in the cold air;
weak tree branches break and bow,
as young saplings dip to the ground.
Ladies over 60 protect tightly permed hair
with plastic rain caps,
while the under 40 crowd let their hair
blow wildly in the storm.
Garbage cans, Christmas decorations and all manner of yard art
have been gobbled up by the current
and deposited down the street.
Umbrellas turn inside out and no longer protect from the rain,
and doors are ripped wide open with the cold, wet blast.
Makes you kind of wonder if mistral gusts are meant to scare us away
or draft us closer together,
or maybe it is angel kisses from on high
giving us a whiff of what's to come.

Sunday, September 6, 2015

Books, books, and more books


I have a tendency to keep all my books, which leads to a dilemma - where to put them all. I have two large bookcases in my living room crammed full of books, and I have a smaller book case I use for my TBR pile and current readings. I also have bookcases in the bathroom (please, don't even ask), my bedroom, the spare bedroom and my daughters bedroom.

 That being said, I have at least 10 large totes full of books and these are stacked into every available closet space I can find. Of course, this doesn't count the books I have stacked on the end of the couch or piled up on the end tables and nightstands. My goal is to one day have built-in bookcases for the spare bedroom and to turn it into a library slash writing room. But currently, the funds are way too low and I don't have the energy to clean the junk out of the room. This will be a big project over the next few years.

Sometimes on rare occasions, I may donate books to the public library, but that's usually if I end up with duplicates. I favor hardback books over paperback books, so I do sometimes sell paperbacks at yard sales. I also loan out books to family members, and occasionally to a few residents at the local nursing home.

Books play a big part in my family's life - my hubby and youngest daughter love books as much as I do. Books are also the presents we give people at Christmas, birthdays and other special occasions.

Saturday, September 5, 2015

If I were a flower


If I were a flower, I'd be a daisy, white and fluffy with a happy yellow face. I'd be growing on the garden fringes, away from the fancy hybrids with their unusual growing habits and prized blooms. I'm not one for large crowds or loud excitement, so being a wallflower, the plain little daisy would be just my speed.

Hardy growth requiring minimal care, this also describes me to a tee. I'm not one for fashion or makeup or hairdo, preferring instead to enjoy life's little pleasures. Low maintenance - that is me and the daisies.

Childish games from yester-year occupy a summer day. Daisy chains adorn my head and the gentle singing of "He loves me, he loves me not" fills the air. You can always find me out in the garden, passing the time with my friends. Goldenrod and Black-eye Susans will always be pretty, but nothing holds my heart like the quaint eccentric daisy.

Thursday, September 3, 2015

Autumn is fast approaching

A Sonic View
Service berries, red and full,
continue clinging to bare branches;
water droplets from a drizzling rain
resemble ice tears
as they sparkle and brighten a dull day.

Majestic pine trees standing straight and tall,
like sentry guards
or some wayward big brother;
the striking green needles
adding texture to the dreariness.

Black walnuts gather on the ground
beneath the naked mother tree,
hulls fading from palest green
to ripened yellow-brown
promising yummy treats to come.

A lone red cedar towering over all the others,
watches over all with grandfatherly ease;
although no longer young and vital
the weathered branches continue to hold
a calm and peaceful quality.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

From afternoon dreaming to Haiku

Haiku in the Park


Hedge apples fall down,
squirrels eat them up today,
Hedge apples gone now.



Sunshine breaks the clouds,
beams come down in vast array
then it's gone away.



Red-headed woodpecker
clings to tree, inclined repose;
peek, peek, peek - he's gone.



Clouds float by on wind,
fluffy elements of shape
making me laugh joyful.



Oak leaves strewn on ground,
litter with orange, red, yellow;
pretty to look at.


.

Tuesday, September 1, 2015

Shadows of Requiem


(Photo by Dan Felstead of Wood and Pixels Narratives)



SHADOWS OF REQUIEM

Tension seems endless,
torn with concern,
steep and winding,
and it twists and turns
like hidden secrets from the past.
Early morning memories are like mist,
raising vague memories of a forgotten dream.
Mysteries echo and reach out,
mysteries of a past unturned;
on the surface calm and serene,
but heavy with undercurrents
a web of confusion draws the anxiety deeper into the core
like a raised spector of yesteryear,
intruding on the future.
Unreasonable hatred can unlock
the dark corridors and musty corners,
turning the tension into a symbol of strength
to unlock the secrets of the future.
.