Happy birthday, Sis

Today would have been my baby sister's 50th birthday. Her death in 2005 at the age of 39, has left a hole in my heart that is very slow in mending.

Although my sister and I had our ups and downs like every other sibling, during the last few years of her life we had grown especially close. She was not only my sister, she was my friend.

So, on this day of sadness when we should be celebrating, I am trying to remember the good times we spent together:

--Watching The Dark Side of the Rainbow

--Playing Ozzie Osbourne loud enough to vibrate the entire house

--Taking long rides in the country just to see the sights

--Giggling until our sides hurt

--Watching every vampire movie we could get our hands on

--Christmas shopping together

--Spending hours just talking about our lives and our future plans

I miss you, Amy....you are in my thoughts daily.

Amy Carter Sallee
November 19, 1965 - January 11, 2005 

Happy Birthday my angel, Amy

.Although my sister, Amy, is always on my mind, the month of November is especially hard because it is her birth month. Our last trip together was six weeks before her death. Amy would have been 50 years old on November 19th - love ya, Sis ...

Last Trip With Amy

Pigeon Forge, Tennessee
On top of Serenity Mountain
Arts and Crafts Community
Eating candy in the Village
Adopt-A-Bear
Elkhorn Plaza and the Best Italian Restaurant
Keith and Theodore E. Teddy
Car acting up – the alternator went out
Waiting for Joey the mechanic to fix us up
Christmas lights through Gatlinburg
Getting home – watching Almost Famous
Jacuzzi soaks and double-headed showers
Chit chats on the wrap around deck
Sleeping with abandon,
Until heading home again

Why are we here

Why is it that the older I get, the more I question the meaning of life? I was raised a Christian and I believe in and have accepted Jesus as my savior. I have raised three daughters in a Baptist environment and my husband also comes from the same background. My faith in God continues to grow daily, but along with this growth have come a few questions. Why are we here? For what purpose are we humans in this world? What is heaven really like?

For the past 30 years, my life has consisted of work and raising a family. I sacrificed through three years of nursing school to become a Registered Nurse, knowing this career would allow me to provide for my children. I worked almost thirteen years as a labor and delivery nurse; twelve hour night shifts, three to four days a week. The first few years were exciting and I enjoyed providing for my family, but when my youngest - Christine- was a baby, I felt like I was missing out on the best part of life; I had already missed so much of my older two daughters' lives. As Christine grew up, my discontentment with working grew. Was my job worth missing the formative years of my last child?

No matter how much I missed being at home with Christine, our family had become trapped within a vicious money cycle and I felt compelled to continue working. When Christine was nine, I finally left night shift and the high risk area OBGYN. The problem now was that I was working with the extended care patients; I would become attached to my patients and then they would die. No matter how much I enjoyed talking with and working with my patients, the overwhelming depression surrounding this type of work continued to grow. After the death of my sister in 2005, I realized I couldn’t pretend to be happy any more.

I had to make my family a priority again. These were the people I was working so hard for, but it didn’t matter how much I worked if it continued to keep me away from my family. I took several months off work to get my life back in order and to reconnect with my family. We have downsized our style of living and reprioritized the goals for our future. I have never been so happy.

Of course, you solve one problem and another one will present itself.This year I again started questioning the reason for our existence. What does God really want from us? I feel like He is looking down on Earth as a whole and He is very sad because of the segregation and lack of humanity all around us. Why is America the wealthiest country in the world, but the people of Africa are dying and starving in droves? Why didn’t the US use the money it spent on the Iraq war to make food drops and provide medication for all those who suffer?

Why doesn’t the United States provide for the homeless in our own country? Why do so many American children live below the poverty level if we are the supposed richest country? Why are we trying to keep Mexican immigrants out of our country when we are a country founded on immigrants? With the exception of the Native Americans, none of us would be here if it were not for immigration.

We come from the wealthiest nation in the world, but there are so many people suffering in the United States. Our government representatives need to be more concerned with the people instead of being dictated by big business. It is a shame that lobbiest are the people who are really controlling our nation instead of the middle class, blue collar workers. It is a shame pro-sports players make million of dollars per year, but police, firemen, and other first responders are barely scraping by. It is a shame Hollywood and media entertainers make millions of dollars per year, but school teachers have to count every penny.

I know we are not supposed to question God's plan, but hink about it: why are we here?



© Bobbi Rightmyer

Kisses from heaven

It really is a shame my sister, Amy, didn't live long enough to see her grandchild born. Desiree will be 6 years old this week and I am sure that her granny is smiling down on her from heaven.

Amy Kisses
She spoke to me like a flicker of air swept by in a dream
Gentle kisses in the ear making me feel wanted and loved;
She’s been gone so long it’s been almost five years
And yet I can still feel her in my heart.
She caresses the inner sanctity opens my wounds with a flick of her wings,
Then she smiles and says, “thank you for being there today.”
Her first grandchild she will never know, but will watch from her chair high above.
Every kiss, every prayer, every loving moment in time
Captured internally and filed away, ready to recapture the joy.
We will give her earthly love and vigor,
You will give her angel kisses;
She will grow and thrive and capture the light
Fulfilling her destiny unwritten.
She’ll have much hugged awards, atta girls, aren’t you sweet
But she’ll also have memories and history and cherishments.
Yes, we will raise her and see she does right
And she will know the grandmotherly love, though the package may seem strange
She will know the love you are giving
You don’t have to worry we will make sure she knows,
That granny’s my sis and we all miss her so,
But she’ll live in your heart and your soul.


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